Song of the day October 16th, 2019 Comfortably Numb

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer.The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable purchasing it.The first nun replied that she would handle it without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier was surprised, so the nun said, “This is for washing our hair.”Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer.“The curlers are on me.”- #joke #beer Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.On the main page of the Internet web site for the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada: "In a show of near anonymity, the convention approved full communion with the Anglican Church of Canada."Father is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary. The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.Announcement: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals."The agenda was adopted. The minutes were approved. The financial secretary gave a grief report.Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All."- #joke #friday Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

A friend of mine got kidnapped by a group of mimes...They did unspeakable things to him! #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

Last week at the grocery store, I saw a man slipping celery into other people's shopping carts...I believe he was a stalker. #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

After receiving a beautiful haircut, a doctor asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?” “Oh, I never charge a doctor,” the barber replies. “You all do such good, important work.” The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds a thank you note and a bottle of wine on his doorstep from the doctor.Later that day, a police officer walks into the same barbershop. After a beautiful haircut, the police office asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?” “Oh, I never charge a police officer,” the barber replies. “You all do such good, important work.” The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds a thank you note and a box of candy on his doorstep from the police officer. Later that day, a priest walks into the same barbershop. After a beautiful haircut, the priest asks the barber, “How much do I owe you?” “Oh, I never charge a priest,” the barber replies. “You all do such good, important work.” The next morning, the barber arrives at his shop and finds twelve priests on his doorstep. #joke #doctor Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net