Song of the October 21st 2019 MTB’s “Can’t You See”

An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is long enough.""Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up.Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, "Like hell they’re getting divorced!" She calls their father immediately. "You’re not getting divorced! Don't do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, and don't file papers. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She hangs up the phone.The old man turns to his wife and says, "Okay, they’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares. #joke #lawyer #christmas Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

You know you've reached middle age... When you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police. #joke #short #doctor Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more. For the second time, attempted the step, and, once again, and much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step.About this time, a big man who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!' The man smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends." #joke Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

A Sunday school teacher asked her second graders if anyone knew another name for God. She was picturing answers like 'Lord' or 'Almighty'.After a long moment of silence a little boy raised his hand and said, "Howard." "Howard?" replied the confused teacher. "You know," continued the boy, "Howard be thy name." #joke Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net

A British man was killed by a shark while on his honeymoon in Australia. Reports say he didn't suffer too long... As he was only married 3 days! #joke #short Read more on page http://www.jokesoftheday.net